Bittersweet

Today has been (and will continue to be) a fantastic day. We had one of my infamous ticket selling events to promote the Spring Musical, which allowed me to sit in the sun with a few of my favorite people for the good part of the afternoon. We also had Sitz Probe, which is the one time in the rehearsal process where all you're asked to do is rock out with the strength of a full band behind you. I spent some time in the studio with Greggles, and now we're off to dinner and Gatsby. Overall, a pretty wonderful day.

But I've been a bit off today. I don't know why, but I just didnt feel like interacting with people. I didn't really question it much today, but as I'm sitting in Greg's car with the music slightly too loud (in a good way), I find myself with time to think.

Just as I'm watching the world rush by me in this comfy CR-V, all the time that I thought I had left with a school that I love is rushing by me as well. I can't deny it any longer. 10 more pages in my assassin book and I will be a high school graduate. It will all be over.

This is the epitome of bittersweet for me. In many ways, it's time for me to leave, to start fresh, to grow. But my school is all that I know right now. It's my nest (moreso than my home ever was), and once I fly away I can never really return in the same way.

I'm going to lose a lot of people when I leave. How do I even begin to say goodbye when I know that it could be forever? I know who I'm going to try and stay in touch with, but I can only plan so much before life gets in the way.

When will I ever again spend such a nice day doing my favorite things with my favorite people? This big change in my life is robbing me of my most valuable possession: security. I no longer can be sure of where I stand. I probably won't be for a while after this.

But I am sure that I can't stop this train, so I might as well buckle in and enjoy the ride.