She's only 18: Red Hot Chili Peppers

I am eighteen. I know that doesn't seem like much, but to me it means the world.

My maturity is something I really love about myself. It didn't come easy, but I've learned to see it as a great asset to whom I believe myself to be. To phrase it as a friend once did, "for better or for worse, you grew up really fast." As a result, I've acted like a twenty-something for the past couple of years.

In a way, it's fun being older than my years. Some of my closest friends are 4-6 years older than me, and I already feel comfortable with the young adult lifestyle that many of my peers are going to have to adjust to slowly. You always hear people say that they'd give anything to have more time to spend in their twenties--so in a way I guess I'm lucky to have begun to live this life before I was even seventeen.

But in many ways my maturity has felt like a curse. A lot of the time I feel like a twenty-something trapped in a high schooler's body. I have to adhere to the strict schedule that comes with adolescence, without having unfettered freedom to make my own choices. Until today, I didn't even technically own my own body! I couldn't sign for things myself, couldn't buy medicine (seriously: I was once carded for cold medicine when I had a fever of 102º), couldn't fully take care of myself in the eyes of the law. To some of the adults in my life, I was just a little girl who could play the part of an adult.

Usually twenty-one is the big one, but hell, I'm moving to Montréal. Eighteen is the big one. I have no problem with being eighteen for a while. Children always talk about how they just want to be grown up (see my "when I grow up" post). I feel like I've kind of made it in a way. Now, I'm not saying that I'm fully grown up--I like to think that I'll never be--instead I'm saying that I'm ready for time to go a little bit slower now. That's ridiculous of me, though, because from here on out I know that time is only going to slip away faster with every passing second.

I feel like my life is beginning. I know that life-as-I-know-it is ending (the graduation countdown is frighteningly real), but I like to think that life-to-come will be full of amazing and wonderful surprises. Plus, I'd rather look forward than linger on the past. There will be time in my nursing home to brood and reminisce and ponder. For now, I'm going to enjoy what's going to be a hell of a ride if I have anything to say about it.